Guide to Surviving the Weasley Potter Clan
by CookieMonster0077
Summary: Boredom has taken over once again, and guess what I've come up with this time? Scorpius Malfoy's Guide to Surviving the Weasley/Potter Clan! Seems stupid? Creepy even? Well, I don't care. R&R please! Next Gen


_Hello all! Here stuck in detention again, curtsy of that old bag, Filch and his creepy cat that still manages to be alive no matter how many times we try to flush it down the bloody toilet._

_Boredom has taken over once again, and guess what I've come up with this time?_

**SCORPIUS MALFOY'S GUIDE TO SURVIVING THE WEASLEY/POTTER CLAN**

_I could have really used this in my first year._

_Seems stupid? Creepy even?_

_Well, I don't care. Let's begin with introductions__._

**Weasley family:**

The Weasley family... you're bound to have heard about them; the lot of red-heads who played one of the biggest parts in the second Wizarding War. If you haven't... then you're a muggle. How the hell did you get this then?

But if you have heard of them, continue.

I'm going to skip the original family, because you're bound to know them if you know the Weasley family, so instead, I'm going to tell you about my generation Weasley's.

**Victore: **Starting with the oldest here, Vickie has taken most of her looks from her maternal family, with silvery-blonde locks, and crystal blue eyes. But of course, she is a Weasley, and what comes with the Weasley territory is that splatter of freckles. And although Vickie has those blonde locks, she has that hair texture only Weasley's can achieve.

Don't be fooled by her Veela looks though, Victore will do mostly anything to get victory. Ha-ha... pun... ahem. She loves Quidditch, and has a hell lotta' Beater skills. Reserve a hospital bed if you go up against her Gryffindor's. Just in case.

**Dominique: **The only one of her siblings with natural Weasley hair! _WHAAATTT? _Well. Yeah. She's got the red-hair, but they come in Veela-like strands, so you know she's Dom, and need I explain her eyes? They're blue. Both her parents have blue eyes. Duh.

Dom wasn't unnaturally obsessed with Quidditch like the rest of her cousins (except maybe Molly and Lucy...), but she sure as hell likes it. Of course, she only plays reserve Beater for her Ravenclaws. She much prefers staying in the stands cheering more loudly than any of her peers, ignoring her reputation as a preppy, fashion-guru, girly girl. Because one thing you should know about her...

She doesn't give a shit what people think about her.

**Louis: **Louis is a weird character. He really is. He's got strawberry blonde locks coming in between Weasley and Veela texture. Electric blue eyes of course.

His mind always seems to drift off into one thing or another, it went from food, to flying, to Quidditch, to dragons, and the list goes on. He, like his sister, is in Ravenclaw, only he has the spot of Keeper, and he loves it.

Another interesting fact about Louis is that he has... well... how do I explain this? He's got a cousin complex you see... with who you ask? Well, he has plenty of cousins. Roxy? Lily? Molly? Nope. It's our resident genius, Rosie. I heard from Al that it was because Louis was the first (other than Hermione) person to see baby Rosie. He was about 4 at the time, and I guess it just started from there.

**Molly II: **Like all families, the Weasley's have a black sheep, and that black sheep is Molly. It was a bit ironic really, how she was named after Nana Weasley, who was loved by everyone. Molly was just the opposite of a Weasley, excluding her red hair of course. But she has dark brown eyes, which came from her mother.

I don't really pay much attention to her, so I don't really know much, other than the fact that she totally resents her cousins. Well, except maybe Victore, but everybody loves Victore, she's in Ravenclaw, and that's basically all I know.

**Lucy: **Lucy is a dreamer. She's one of those rare Weasley's with solid brown hair. Unlike her sister though, she got her daddy's eyes. Lucy kind of reminds me of the Weasley's surrogate aunt Luna.

Dreamy, sweet, and stuff like that, but she doesn't believe in Nargles. Whatever those are. Her best friend is Dom, the two were nearly inseparable, and every time I see them their gushing over some wizard model in Witch Weekly, or scrolling through some new fashions.

The Hufflepuff of the family, she and Roxanne get along pretty well, considering they share the same house.

**Fred II: **A basic carbon copy of Fred the first, with tan skin and brown eyes. Like most Weasley's, Gryffindor pride resides within him, and he is Beater with Victore, before she left Hogwarts.

Fred is insane, there's no other word to really describe him. He has pranks running through his blood, and him, James, and the Scamander twins, were the Marauder's and the Weasley twins rolled up into one and that's never a good sign.

He, like James, seems to grow wary of me hanging around Rose, but then again all the males do. I pass it off as a "huge family" thing, where everyone protects each other. But other than that overprotective nature, he's cool.

When he's not pranking me.

**Roxanne: **Fred's younger sister by 4 years, the baby of the family, but don't be mistaken. She was George Weasley's daughter, and she gets away with most stuff because she was the baby.

She, like her brother, was a tan one, with blue eyes and brown hair cut right below her neck, straight and very Roxy-like.

She loves Quidditch, but like Dom, she prefers watching her family flying around on their brooms from her place on the Hufflepuff stands.

**Rose: **Rose? Well, for starters, she's a mixture of her parents. And that's not a good mix regarding the overprotective males of her life. Like all her cousins, she's pretty, and I'm putting this out there just in case one of the Weasley's, or Potter's, finds this, I MEAN IT PLATONICLY!

She's got curly hair, curly light auburn hair that she keeps short, because frankly, she says she doesn't like long hair on her. Freckles of course, and blue eyes.

Rose doesn't really much care about her grades, yet she gets straight O's anyway. I really despise that, she is so lucky her mom was a freakin' genius. Some professor's even branded her the name Weasley prodigy... a Weasley prodigy that makes one hell of a Chaser for the lion's.

Although, Rose is completely a Weasley, a smart Weasley. Apparently, overprotectiveness is contagious, because now, I am glad that she is dwarfed between me and Al, because frankly, we don't want any pervs checking her out.

**Hugo: **Hugo was tall. Yes. I start out with that. 13 years old, already as tall as me, and taller than his sister. Of course it doesn't help that his bushy like dark auburn hair was making him look even taller, and brown eyes, and freckles, which is totally irrelevant.

He and Rose really get along, despite being two years apart. It's probably because they even out. Rose is older, but Hugo's taller. They banter a lot, and their funny together. They even managed to trick some people in Hogsmeade that Hugo was her older brother.

Hugo, well he was smart too, and like his sister, he doesn't particularly care for his grades, but pass with flying colors anyway, and another thing him and his sister share in common was the spot on the Gryff's team, only he follows his dad's footsteps as Keeper.

_Whew. So many Weasley's, and that's just the kids in my generation. They have aunts, uncles, and even more cousins, and one day, even more grandkids!_

_Yeesh._

_It's not over yet. Here's even more cousins! Different surnames, but they've got that Weasley blood, you see, they youngest before generation Weasley, also the only girl out of 6 brothers, got married to the Wizarding hero Harry Potter._

**Potter Family:**

Harry Potter + Ginny Weasley= Ginny Potter. Ginny Potter + Harry Potter= 3 more Potters. Need I say more?

Didn't think so.

**James II: **The oldest Potter sibling and danm well proud of it too. He's a mixture of Potter and Weasley this one. Tall, but not full on Weasley tall, freckles, but faint, hazel eyes filled with mischief, behind his glasses, dark auburn hair that he keeps so effing messy.

He's named after two of the most notorious pranksters in like... history, so yeah. That pretty much explains itself, and like his namesake he has a spot on the Gryffindor team, only he wasn't seeker.

Shocked?

You shouldn't be. He is full on Chaser, like his mum.

Like I mentioned in Fred's overview, he's his partner-in-crime, and basic other half. Al told me once that if James and Fred get separated for more than a month, they'll go into a wave of angsty teenage depression filled with rock music, door-slamming, and talking back.

**Albus II: **Al. That's the name everybody calls him by, except when he's in deep trouble. Okay, you know Harry Potter. Imagine him without his glasses, younger, and a very faint, very unnoticeable red tint to his hair. POOF! There is my best friend, and last third of my trio of friends!

Al was quiet compared to his siblings, and that's not saying much. His siblings were _too _loud. So, Al _was _actually _very _loud. Just not as loud as his siblings.

A fact you should know about him is that, even though we're best friends, I'm probably close to nothing compared to him and Rose. Hell, they were born in the same hospital within the same freakin' hours. How creepy is that?

Not only that, he has the same chaser skills as her, joining his brother and cousin in the ranks for the Gryffindor Chasers.

**Lily II: **Bubbly, sweet, pretty, fun, Seeker skills, smart, Gryffindor, and everything in between. Just like her mum. Ironically enough, Al was the one who inherited the perfect eye-sight, because Lily wears reading glasses.

But other than that, she takes after her mother, with the Weasley trade-mark red hair with a darkish tint to it, and dazzling brown eyes. Freckles, need I even say that anymore?

That's about everything about Lily, oh and the fact that she, like her brothers, is best friends with her cousin. Hugo and Lily wear near like twins, often mistaken for siblings, with similar hair color and brown eyes and such. It amuses them and me to no end.

_That's it. The Weasley/Potter family cousins. At least that I know of. I don't know, maybe Charlie over in Romania just married and is expecting._

_Ha-ha. I'm funny._

_Charlie is too absorbed in his dragons to court a woman._

_Okay. Intros over? Yeah. So let us begin with the rules! Merlin knows this will be fun._

**1. Don't try too hard to become friends with the Weasley/Potter/Lupin/Scamander clan.**

They'll find you creepy, and will strive to avoid you. It's pretty funny to watch other students go out of their way to befriend them. Especially if it's a girl, and the person trying to befriend them is a guy.

It's refreshing to watch someone other than me being burned/hexed/told off/beat up by the overprotective males of the family.

**2. Don't try to avoid them either.**

It will only succeed in making them strive to befriend you. The girls at least. The boys didn't really care either way, but the girls are just too friendly for their own good. Except Molly. She's a bit anti-social...

Again, it's funny when sometimes, the girls achieve to befriend them, but they only turn out to be deranged fans obsessed about them.

**3. Blokes, if... wait excuse me... **_**when **_**you fall for a Weasley/Potter, don't make is obvious.**

Yes. I said _when_. Because it will happen. Just trust me. YOU WILL.

Anyway, don't make it obvious, because if you haven't already realized, the males will try to kill you. Even though, most ignore that fact and openly drool, and leer, and court them. Resulting in a very entertaining show of hexing and curses.

**4. YOU DO NOT HURT ANY OF THEM.**

Boy, girl, adult, child, it doesn't matter. The Weasley/Potter/etc. clan has a very strong sense of family, and if you hurt one, you hurt all; therefore, you'll have a whole bloody clan of wizards after you. Got it?

**5. If they show any dislike to you, whether it is little or not, do not accept a random friendly invitation from them.**

Really, if they show any trace of dislike towards you, why the hell would you accept some friendly invite you got from them?

And unless you're dense, or flat out stupid, you would realize that pranking is in their blood, and if you accept their invite, you will find yourself another victim to one of their clan pranks.

**6. Get out of the way when one of them is speeding down the hallway.**

Either their running from a professor, or their high on sugar, or their just plain being insane, it doesn't matter. You get out of the way. No questions asked.

Unless you want to get ran over.

**7. In reference to number 4, YOU DO NOT INSULT THEM EITHER.**

No. Just... _no_. You don't do that. It's just as worse as hurting them. You will suffer the same consequences.

**8. You don't kiss one of the females without the males' approval. **

Just ask Bob.

Whose Bob you ask?

_Exactly_.

**9. When one of them cries, which is very, **_**VERY**_**, rarely, you don't just stand there shocked.**

You comfort them, you cry with them, and you don't ask why their crying. When one of them cries, something's got to be wrong.

It doesn't matter if you aren't friends with them, it doesn't matter if you barely know each other, and you don't just stand there, because you will be hexed, or cursed at, or punched.

**10. Don't take advantage of their friendship.**

Their family is famous, and their always in the spotlight. It was hard to gain their trust, and if you do manage to gain it, that trust is hard to loose. If you do loose it, then you can't gain it back.

If you come from a famous family, you'll know. They were friends with everyone, sure, but you'll have to go through great lengths to _truly _befriend them.

Most people just want to be friends with them because they were famous; I can understand that, most of the Slytherin's want to be friends with me because of my family's "pure blood legacy".

They don't trust very much, you gain their friendship? Congrats. You take it and stomp on it like it was nothing? _I'll _stomp on you. Because their _my_friends, hurt them, I'll go to Azkaban for murder.

_Yeah, yeah, I got all mushy and shit. But it's true. I guess I'm finished. Whoever finds this, I'm sure there's at least one Weasley/Potter/Lupin/Scamander in Hogwarts._

_Good luck. -Scorpius Malfoy_

"Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Potter, and Ms. Weasley, you are free to leave," Professor McGonagall piped, Scorpius looked up surprised. "_Time really flies..._"

"YES!" Rose and Al yell in unison, jumping up and rushing out. Scorpius stuffed the quill and the list into his pack, rather slowly.

Al and Rose peeked in, looking at him expectantly. "Let's go Scorp," Rose said, "Yeah; we were in here for hours! Let's go to the lake with the others,"

Scorpius sent them a grin, nodded at McGonagall and ran towards them.

As the trio walked down the hallway, Al popped the question. "What was that thing you were writing on the whole time Scorp?" Rose nodded, their blue and green eyes looking at him curiously and questioningly.

"Oh nothing," Scorpius shrugged, peering down to his pack. "Just a little list I'm going to throw somewhere later." Al raised an eyebrow, "Really? You were working pretty intensely on that."

Scorpius shrugged again. "Whatever."

* * *

**Yes, yes, pointless, stupid, and useless. It doesn't make sense either. I tried to make the characters more different than how others portray them.**

**And that Louis, "cousin complex" thing, was just an experiment. I figure I'm probably the only one who did that. So I'm proud. And Louis was probably the least likely character to have a cousin complex, on Rose, so points for originality!**

**Review and tell me what you think!**


End file.
